A Brief Thought #1
Measuring time and change
--
“Perhaps the hardest thing about losing a lover is to watch the year repeat its days. It is as if I could dip my hand down into time and scoop up blue and green lozenges of April heat a year ago in another country. I can feel that other day running underneath this one like an old videotape….” Anne Carson in The Glass Essay
I’ve always loved this visualization of time that has passed, changes that have occurred. Ever since I first read The Glass Essay, six years ago, this excerpt has come to me in moments of reflection; specifically, when I’m struck by how similar and yet entirely different every aspect of routine existence can be.
Two years ago, I viewed the fact that my job didn’t begin until 9 AM as an excuse to sleep in until the last possible second. Working from home meant that I could roll out of bed with 10 minutes to spare, wash my face, and log in on time. It was a gift that upon unwrapping revealed itself to be the subtle encouragement of excessive drinking and sluggish mornings.
Today, I’m in a different job for which I work from home and begin my day at 9 AM. It’s late November, the cool weather and my snuggly pets give me all the same satisfaction as they did then. And yet, this morning I woke up at 6 AM, alongside my husband. I journaled for an hour, wrote two unique posts to publish here on Medium, baked gluten free coffee cake muffins, enjoyed two cups of coffee, and am now getting ready to log in to my work computer.
Sometimes, when we dip our hand down into time, we feel a past that was happier, fuller, warmer than the present we occupy. Today, I am grateful to be scooping up the remnants of a time when I was merely a shell of the person I am right now.
What does the old videotape running underneath this day, this week, or this year hold for you?
If you enjoy reading posts by Taylor Moran Writes, please consider supporting myself and independent writers like myself by signing up for a Medium membership. Half of your monthly membership fee will go to me to support my work and you will receive full access to all Medium has to offer.
